But now I'm back (obviously). I've missed blogging and I really will be blogging more frequently now that things have calmed down.. promise!
Tomorrow will mark the end of a endless week. My days have been filled with a frenzies of running here and there. Nights and weekends present a platter of thoughts to digest and always end with painful migraines from lack of actual food. But life goes on and by Wednesday, I found myself encountering a storm of percentages, reds, blues, numbers and statistics.
Still the storm inside my mind was worse than the one faced on election day. For weeks no solace could be found. The only escape was sleep, resulting in long naps and barely any time to do homework. The problems battled during the day evaporated once sleep came-- ultimately, dreams became better than reality.
But one day, sitting in my counselor's office for the umptenth time this month, changed me. One turn of the head and my eyes fell on the blue poster emblazoned with a quote:
"Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."
It was a watershed moment.
I finally knew, knew that I didn't have to live like this, knew that I could change it myself, knew that I couldn't wait for someone to change it for me. It is a concept so simple but the discovery was complex. Figuring out the things that I want (and those that I don't) has been a constant struggle between truth and my own illusions. But before me now, they have seperated.
I cannot say that I will want the same things tomorrow or next week or next month (I am a fickle being). But I do know that right now, right this second, I do not want to attend the same school next year.
Looking back on all of this and actually writing it here, is liberating . Although my blog may be viewed as just a fashion blog, I want it to be about more than just that...
So here I am.. blogging about life.
Au Revoir for now,
The only LFC