And it’s ok.
It is not something that we should creep around and whisper about. It is not something that should be ignored because it’s "awkward", the subject doesn't need to be changed when it comes up in your empty conversations. No, this is not gossip. It's not rumor.
It's fact.
One that is invisible and fleeting. One that drifts away, as an apparition, in the glorious sunlight of higher eduction that glows on the bronze dome and blinds. Own up to the facts. There’s got to be a time, if only once in your life, for the truth. So what? There’s already so much negativity in the world, what’s another word slung at another person? I know you care. You know I don’t. Of course it's not exactly pleasant. I should know, I’ve seen it. My name’s right there in that Social Dictionary everyone carries around. In bold it's written next to my name: DIFFICULT, BITCH, RUDE, BITCH, OBNOXIOUS, NOT A NICE PERSON, MEAN, BITCH. And written there beside each of them in italics are the gracious persons of the gracious titles and the dates of the glorious coronations.
And it’s fine.
I swear it really is. No one’s mad. No one’s sad. I’m glad in fact. I doubt it matters, I doubt any of this will 20 years from now and I doubt that we’ll ever speak again after today.
So remember this last phrase. Please remember it:
Tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or 20 years away from then, if you see me walking down the street, (Of course, you’ll probably recognize the lines on my pumps spelling ‘Not Going Far’ and the ‘BITCH’ glaring out in large letters from the reflective surface my black sunglasses) or in a corner of a shady bar that plays shady music or leaning against some man by some car on some European street, promise me that you’ll keep walking. Don’t wave, don’t nod, don’t stop at all. Just keep walking, darling, to that place that you’re going, to that place that's more important than the ugliness and the people that stifle, to that place that is better than hard dark blue plastic chairs and gum covered desks, to that place all alone but it's ok because you like yourself. Despite all of it, you really truly like who you are.
Glance quickly, discrete, so no one sees. Then turn you head away, chin up now and keep walking. Going forward, moving forward, going far, far away down that street. Keep walking, darling.
I did. And I will.
And maybe (if things work out the way I hope they will) we won’t see each other in any of the tomorrows.
EDIT:
I don't know why I wrote this or why I'm even posting it. I've put so much of myself into it, it's hard to put it out there to be read. Ah, well. This is what blogs are for I guess. Today was the last day of school and these are my thoughts. It's probably vastly unexciting and I'll probably get 0 comments. Haha. No worries.
I don't know why I wrote this or why I'm even posting it. I've put so much of myself into it, it's hard to put it out there to be read. Ah, well. This is what blogs are for I guess. Today was the last day of school and these are my thoughts. It's probably vastly unexciting and I'll probably get 0 comments. Haha. No worries.